September 2010
TGIF
Thank God Its Fall
“The Watermonster is right Cat-Man, they are among us.”
—A Bible
DeLorean Dream
Last night I dreamt I got to drive a DeLorean.
It wasn’t as much fun as I thought. It was kind of like driving an early 90’s Oldsmobile. I also got guilt tripped into it by a stressed out young used car salesman. I explained that there was no way I could buy it, but he wasn’t deterred.
He insisted that I just ride along and he would drive. I agree to that since Im not the one to be hypothetically wasting his time anymore. We set off down a highway and the soundtrack from Back to the Future is playing. I think to myself that is sort of cheesy on the salesman’s part but once the music gets twinkily and magical I cant help but take him up on his insistence of driving.
We pull off on an exit and are immediately on a unpaved one lane country road winding in between the most Steinbeck of jalopy farms. Salesman makes a quip about “going back in time” and I smile and nod to acknowledge his attempt of humor. I’m immediately dismayed that the doors do not make the mechanical whirr that they do in the movie. But I deal with it.
I wait for the salesman to get in but he explains from a distance through the gaping passenger side hole that he has to get back to the dealership to help the other customers. He seems unfazed by the 30+ minute walk it is going to take to get back and shuts the sound-effect-free door.
The car rode like a ford bronco and sounded like a sick 4cyl volvo. Any excitement that the soundtrack provided had washed away with the reality of what was happening moment to moment.
I bumble around the back roads until i find a main road that leads to the dealership. Its dark once I get there and everything is closed. I park the car directly in front and walk into the nearby bar in the strip mall parking lot that the used car dealership is also located in. I see the salesman inside and give him the keys. He is grateful and had forgotten all about our excursion. Im happy to not run the risk of grand theft auto and do my best to leave and avoid any further conversation/embarrassment with the salesman.
